


Love makes blind

by schrijverr



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Jonny d'Ville needs glasses, Mutual Pining, Other, Pet Names, Slow Burn, Soft Gunpowder Tim, Soft Jonny d'Ville, Tim uses xe/xem/xyr pronouns, and galaxy brain, because xe is too pretty to be cis, jonny is also kinda mean to himself and he goes mute for a scene, maybe I'll add more tags later, so watch out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27454261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schrijverr/pseuds/schrijverr
Summary: Jonny gets headaches, when the others find out it leads to the revelation that he actually needs glasses. Through the whole process, he and Tim grow closer as xe is there for Jonny.
Relationships: Ashes O'Reilly & Gunpowder Tim & Drumbot Brian, Jonny d'Ville & Nastya Rasputina, Jonny d'Ville/Gunpowder Tim
Comments: 58
Kudos: 135





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find this work on my tumblr, which is @schrijverr as well. Hope you pop in and say hi, cause I'd love to talk to y'all!!
> 
> This fic is already complete, at first I was gonna post it in one go, but it's been a while since I did a multi-chapter fic, so I cut it up. Sorry, if the endings are a bit weird!

Jonny used to be a pretty good shot, there was a reason Jack hired him for his hits. Jonny was the best shot in town. He’d been practically born with a pistol in hand as his father had taught him to shoot when he was a child.

The First Mate had always prided himself on that fact.

However, his aim had decreased after he’d joined Carmilla on her spaceship. When he’d first started missing he’d brought it up to her, but she’d waved him away as she chided: “You’re getting lazy, Jonny. You can’t die, so it doesn’t matter as much whether you hit or not.”

He’d taken some offense to that, not enough to risk opening his mouth, but still. He wasn’t being lazy, he tried to hit his targets, but sometimes the shots just wouldn't hit where he had intended them to hit.

After a while though, he did stop caring. If he died a few times more that was no ones fault but his own and in the grand scheme of things what did it matter anyway?

Then he met Tim and he did curse his lack of practice in aiming well, the gun-obsessed asshole loved laughing at Jonny whenever he missed and would shoot difficult targets just to piss him off.

So, Jonny returned to practicing once more.

Jonny would show Tim that xe wasn’t the only one who could hit a target. He didn’t know why he felt the need to impress xem, but he did and now he had a mission.

He would lock himself in a cargo bay and try to hit the targets from different distances. It was easier the closer he got, but he still was so bad at it and he didn’t understand why.

Maybe Carmilla had been right and he had gotten lazy and maybe he hadn’t cared about hitting or missing and maybe he had turned it into a joke to bring levity to his crew. But he had been shooting for millennia, he knew his pistol so intimately that surely he would get good again with a bit of practice.

He should have gotten better, instead he only got more headaches.

The headaches had started a few decades after his mechanization. They weren’t really a problem, just annoying and easily solved with some water or rest, but they started increasing in number and severity when he’d started practicing and wouldn't blow over from just some water or a couple of minutes of rest anymore.

When it first happened, he got annoyed, then when it happened more often he’d shot himself in irritation. However, instead of waking up feeling better, the headache had just gotten worse.

After that he started trying everything to make them be over.

He took to drinking about half a gallon of water each day, getting weird looks from some of the others. Ashes had even asked if it was alcohol in the big flask, sounding a bit concerned.

Jonny had informed them that it was just water and that he was trying to drink the recommended amount now. That had just made them even more concerned and a bit suspicious, although Jonny did not know why.

Not that it helped either, the headaches just kept coming, which lead to him giving up on drinking water and massaging his head, frustrated and at the end of his tether.

It didn’t stop after that and soon he found himself lying on the couch, moping while he hoped none of the crew would walk in on him and think of him as weak, while at the same time he desperately wanted someone to ask if he was alright.

Still he kept practicing.

He had become obsessed with regaining his ability to shoot well, a fear creeping into his veins that he would never be able to again and if push came to shove and his crew was in danger, he wouldn't be able to protect them.

The loud bang of his pistol would make him wince and the headaches only got worse, but it didn’t stop him.

Although he had stopped lying on a couch in a common area, having found that the light and background noises became too much.

Instead he would retreat to his room where he would tell Aurora to keep everyone away from him and turn the lights off, before he would crawl into his bed and lie there in a heap of misery under a shit ton of blankets as he tried to sleep the headache off.

Jonny was convinced that he was being stealthy about it. That none of the crew had noticed him disappear more regularly while Aurora tried to keep them away from his room. That they hadn’t seen him clutch his head more often before that or hadn’t witnessed his water drinking.

So when a part of the crew was hanging around and the headache hit again when he tried to focus on what Ashes was pointing at across the room, he pretended to understand what they were going on about, before he stretched and nonchalantly said: “I think I’m turning in early tonight.”

He got some raised eyebrows and concerned looks at that, so he dropped the faked nonchalance and snapped: “What?”

Brian shared a look with Ashes and Nastya while Tim just stared at Jonny, then Brian said: “We’re a bit worried about you, that’s all. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Something inside him tugged at him, telling him to open up about the headaches, to get their concern and care, but a bigger part of him got angry in defense afraid of being seen as weak or vulnerable.

“I am fine, Drumbot.” he growled, ignoring the guilt at his little flinch, “I am just tired and I don’t need your pity. There’s nothing wrong with me.”

“Don’t be a prick about it, Jonny.” Ashes crossed their arms, “He was just being nice, it’s what he does. Just because you’re a snappy up tight asshole, doesn’t mean you get to be mean to Brian.”

Some of the others also looked at him as if he’d done something very offensive and irredeemable and he was starting to feel backed into a corner.

It wasn’t his fault the headaches and stress were wearing him down. He tried so hard not to be a nuance about it, so that they wouldn't pity him or break him by caring. But when they asked him about it, it was so much harder to keep a strong face.

It wasn’t his fault he snapped, it wasn’t.

“Yeah, whatever, okay, won’t do that anymore.” he huffed with an eyeroll, not at all the agreement he was going for so that he could retreat.

“What is your problem, man.” Ashes frowned, “You know you were wrong there.”

“So what, Ashes, not like it has stopped me from being as asshole before now.” the irritation behind his eyes was growing stronger and he just wanted to leave.

“It’s alright, Ashes. Just let him be.” Brian tried to diffuse the situation.

“Thank you, Brian.” Jonny gave Ashes a look.

“No.” Ashes glared back at Jonny, “Don’t stick up for him, just don’t.”

“Yeah.” Tim inserted xyrself into the conversation as well, from where xe had been witnessing the chaos, “It’s like an unspoken rule to be nice to Brian.”

Jonny was sure that if Brian could blush, he would right now. Not that he cared about that at the moment. Everyone was turning against him and he did feel bad for not being nice to Brian, but he was tired and not able to deal with all this right now.

He threw his hands up and exclaimed: “Fine, I won’t. Not like I was planning on it, geez, let a man be.”

Then he turned around and started to stomp off, not caring that every harsh step made his headache worse.

His path was blocked by Nastya, who had crossed her arms and stared at him over the top of her glasses.

“What do you want now?” he asked, sounding more tired than irritated.

“You still haven’t answered Brians question, I think that would be a good way to make it up to him, don’t you.” she told him.

Jonny frowned: “Yes, I did. I told him I was fine, just tired and if you’d let me go I actually could do something about it.”

She spun him around, the sudden movement making his head pulse as he tried to reorient himself, and said: “No, you deflected and snapped. Give him a better answer.”

He couldn't see Brians face properly from here and concentrating hurt, but the fact that he couldn't pick up facial cues to figure out what was wanted of him scared him enough to try.

Squinting, he could make out Brians open and kind face as he waited for Jonny to give in to Nastyas request. Jonnys brain whirred as he tried to come up with a good answer that would please everyone enough to let him go.

“I just haven’t slept, didn’t see the use since we don’t need to sleep that often and it suddenly hit me, so I wanted to go. I am fine just tired, just let me go to bed.” he almost accidentally added a please behind that statement, but managed to catch himself in time.

“That’s a fucking lie.” Tims voice broke the silence, “You literally told me this morning you had a crick in the neck from sleeping wrong.”

Mentally Jonny cursed himself, he’d never had the best grip on time and it seemed longer ago than it apparently had been.

Beside him he could feel Nastyas anger grow: “Why are you lying to us, Jonny?”

“Who says it’s me that’s lying, Tim loves throwing me under the bus.” the indignant words were out Jonnys mouth before he could stop them and he mentally groaned at what would probably happen next.

He wasn’t disappointed as Tim immediately yelled at him for being unfair and other stuff Jonny wasn’t willing to focus on, since the headache was now really beginning to pound at an unbearable level.

Usually he would already in his room at this point and he cursed himself for being snappy. If he’d just been nice, he would be in his bed right now.

God, what he wouldn't give to be in his bed right now.

Jonny wasn’t focusing on anything anymore, he vaguely registered other voices starting to talk and get louder, but it was just a blur of sounds. His head pulsed and pounded and lights swirled in front of his eyes as the room started to sway.

It was all too much and he couldn't take it anymore. His hands clutched at his head again, pressing into his ears and eyes in an attempt to get it all to stop, as he crumbled to the floor, hot tears sliding over his face as he curled into himself.

The noise had stopped now, or at least it wasn’t loud enough to get through to his ears anymore.

Vaguely he could feel himself rock back and forth, but it didn’t register as something important, neither did the broken sobs that left his lips.

He would normally hate himself right now, and he was sure that later he would rage at himself for being so weak, but he was so so tired and he just couldn't take it anymore. He felt terrible and small and he wanted this to be over.

A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched away from it, toppling over in the process and letting out a small cry of pain when he hit the floor.

It was still for a moment, then he felt a hand pry at his own and he desperately tired to keep himself shielded from the outside world, but in his state he couldn't fight for long. He waited for the loud noises, but none came, instead there was a soft voice.

“Hey, it’s okay, Jonny. It’s okay, just tell us what happened” Jonny knew that voice, Tim, xe had a soft undertone that wasn’t grating on his nerves, which he was immensely grateful for.

“Are you able to talk, Jonny?” xe asked.

Jonny thought about that. Was he able to talk? He opened his mouth, but sounds seemed hard right now, but Tim wanted him to talk, he should try at least, for xyrs sake. He opened his mouth again, but still nothing happened. New tears formed in his eyes as he berated himself.

“That’s okay, it’s totally fine.” Tim told him, “Can you shake your head? Shake yes for yes and tap twice for no.”

Just the thought of shaking his head hurt, so he tapped twice and hoped Tim wouldn't be to mad at him.

A hand carded through his hair and he leaned into the touch. Tim spoke again: “I’m going to ask you some yes or no questions and I want you to answer them for me by tapping once for yes and twice for no, can you do that? Because I can also go if you want me to.”

A cold fear gripped Jonny at the thought of xyr leaving him, so he tapped once and hoped Tim understood.

“Good, good.” Tim murmured, then slightly more audible: “Does your head hurt?”

One tap.

“Is that the only body part that hurts?”

One tap.

“Does the light hurt?”

One tap.

Tim wasn’t speaking to Jonny when xe ordered someone to move. Soon the light was blocked by, what Jonny assumed were, the other three that had been there. He hoped they wouldn't be mad at him for being so pitiful, he hadn’t wanted to waste their time, really.

“Does this happen often?” xe asked, turning back to Jonny.

He hesitated, then tapped once.

“Oh, poor thing.” Tim sighed, “Did you feel it coming?”

One tap.

“Is that why you wanted to leave?”

One tap, along with a tearful sniffle.

“Why didn’t- Were you planning on telling us?”

Two taps.

“Is there a reason you didn’t want us to know.”

One tap.

“Would you be willing to tell us later?”

After a moment of hesitation Jonny tapped twice. It was already bad enough that he was in this situation and it wouldn't do to make it worse, make them hate him more.

“Is that why you’re crying?”

Two taps, not technically a lie, since it was only part of why he was crying.

Tim saw right through him and asked: “Is it part of why you’re crying?”

Jonny bit his lip, then tapped once. He was too exhausted to lie.

“Good, well done, I’m so proud of you.” xe whispered and he couldn't help but light up at the praise.

“Would you be willing to let us help you right now?” xe pressed on, hoping for one tap.

One tap.

Xe sighed with relief, then asked: “Do you know how we can help you?”

One tap.

It was good that there would be a plan, but Jonny couldn't talk right now, so they had no way of obtaining it. Xe looked at the others, who had been following this with concern. No one had seen this small breakdown coming.

Brian and Ashes were as clueless as xe was, but Nastya softly said: “Maybe Aurora knows, she’s been the one keeping us away from his room, I’m sure she’d keep an eye on him.”

Tim nodded and asked Jonny: “Can we ask Aurora how to help you?”

One tap and a bit of tension released from Jonnys shoulders that they hadn’t noticed was there before.

Xe nodded at Nastya, who looked at the ceiling where a small screen appeared: **Jonny usually sleeps in his room in the dark and silence when this happens with a lot of blankets to keep him grounded**

Tim softy read it to Jonny then asked: “Is that correct?”

One tap.

“Good, I’m going to pick you up and bring you to your room. Is that okay?” xe asked.

One tap.

Tim put one of xyr arms under Jonnys knees, the other under his shoulder and braced xyrself before standing up.

The movement made Jonny whimper slightly and he burrowed his face into Tims shoulder to hide himself from the world.

“Will you be okay?” Ashes asked and Tim could see they felt guilty about pushing Jonny.

Xe smiled and said: “It’s alright, don’t worry about it. I’ll make sure you’re the first to know if he needs anything, but I don’t think more people is going to help him right now.”

Ashes nodded and stepped out of xyr way. Xe nodded at them before leaving, knowing that Brian and, well he wasn’t sure about Nastya, but Brian would try to calm them down, might even need a bit of calming down in return since it was his question that started all this.

Tim was secretly happy that he only had to deal with a nearly asleep and clingy Jonny, that seemed much easier right now.

Looking down xe saw that Jonnys face was mostly slack, only tensing up when they passed under a light or Tim accidentally jostled him. He looked adorable, xe’d always had a soft spot for Jonny even during the war back when xe was mortal.

Sure xe would tease him and snap at him and fight with him, but xe knew that when xe was down Jonny would come cheer xem up and he would listen to xem when xe talked about the war. About Bertie.

Bertie had had a soft spot for Jonny as well, Tim knew he had. There was no other explanation for how he’d held onto Jonny as well as Tim in their little foxhole or how he’d shared their rations of alcohol with Jonny.

He would’ve taken Jonny home along with Tim if they’d won the war together and Tim knew xe would’ve gone so easily and maybe, just maybe, Jonny would’ve come too.

Xe was so lost in xyr thoughts that xe almost didn’t notice arriving at xyr room. Xe had accidentally walked there on autopilot. Xe bit his lip, then shrugged, Jonny would forgive xem.

The door slid open, courtesy of Aurora and xe put Jonny down on the bed gently, before tucking him in.

Jonny stirred when xe put him down, but didn’t fight xem, instead he was pliant in xyr hands and willingly let himself be tucked in, leaning into xyr hand when they carded it through his hair, unable to stop xyrself.

Tim started to pull away, planning to leave Jonny on his own to sleep this all off, when a hand shot out and grabbed him. Even in the dark Tim could see Jonny had his eyes open, giving xyr a conflicted look.

“What’s going on?” xe asked.

Jonnys brow furrowed and he bit his lip, but he did not let go of Tim, who got a feeling what was going on, asked: “Still can’t talk?”

If it was literally anyone other than Jonny, Tim would’ve said xe saw a blush on his cheeks as he tapped once on Tims hand.

“That’s alright.” xe said kindly, “Do you-” it seemed absurd, but here went nothing, “Do you want me to stay?”

A hush fell over the room, despite the fact that it had been completely quiet before.

The silence seemed to stretch on forever until there was one light tap on Tims hand. Xe couldn't help the smile that took over xyr face as xe crawled back onto the bed and laid down next to Jonny.

Slowly xe felt Jonnys arm creep under xem until xe was being tugged onto Jonny. Xe gave him a questioning look and after a few swallows Jonny managed: “Pressure, helps.”

Tim nodded and made xyrself comfortable on Jonnys chest, legs between Jonnys and the whirring of Jonnys heart under xyr ear. Xe whispered: “This okay?”

A tap on his back, apparently that was enough talking for Jonny again, but at least xe got an answer from him. Xe snuggled closer and sighed: “Good. Sleep tight.”

Jonny squeezed xyr in return before he went boneless in the mattress and his breathing started to even out. Tim waited until xe was sure Jonny was fully asleep, before xe also closed xyr eyes.

Xe couldn't fall asleep immediately. Xyr thoughts were swirling with what had happened and how it had even happened. Xe couldn't shake the image of Jonny suddenly crumbling to the ground, how small he had looked rocking back as he waited for them to stop arguing.

Tim hated how Jonny had flinched away from xyr touch, hated how he’d cried while xe couldn't do anything to stop it, and xe hated how he’d lost his voice.

It had been so long since that happened last that Tim had almost forgotten about it and xe couldn't help but feel it was xyr fault. If xe hadn’t said anything about Jonnys lie, none of this would’ve happened.

But that also made xyr feel weird. Jonny had admitted this happened before and with how much Aurora knew about it, Tim doubted it wasn’t often. Still Jonny had hid it and he hadn’t planned on telling the others.

He would’ve been alone right now to deal with this and that made something constrict in xyr chest, xe much rather have Jonny right here in xyr arms, safe and asleep.Xe looked up and Jonny and smiled at the peaceful, soft expression. The last time he’d seen that was when Bertie was still alive and The Toy Soldier had offered to take watch, even offering to be ordered, so Jonny knew it would stay.

Jonny sighed a bit, before burrowing his face into Tims hair, making xem giggle softly. Xe reached a hand out and started petting Jonnys hair, content to lie here forever.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim wakes up to see Jonny feeling better about his headache. They talk for a bit, before going to Raph, who gives him glasses during dinner where everyone finds out he needs them.

It wasn’t forever, but the next conscious thought Tim had was waking up and the distinct feeling time had passed. Xe did not want to wake up though, xe was warm and comfortable, so xe burrowed xyr face into the warmth and groaned.

Above xem someone laughed and there were vibrations in the chest Tim was using as pillow. Wait, chest? Xe shot up and found xyrself hanging over Jonny, hands on both sides of his body.

He looked livelier than yesterday, however that wasn’t been very difficult with how he’d been. His eyes were still a bit red, but overall he looked good. Tim swallowed, before xe asked: “How do you feel?”

“Good, better.” Jonny answered.

Tim lit up with his voice, glad that Jonny wasn’t too overwhelmed to speak anymore, and said: “I’m glad.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jonny groused, “I was fine. No need to make a big deal out of it.”

That sobered Tim up a bit and xe frowned: “Jonny,” xe waited until he looked at xem, “you scared me yesterday, don’t say you were fine. It’s okay that you weren’t, but you don’t have to keep on a strong facade.”

It seemed Jonnys resolve was crumbling, but he still weakly tried: “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, no need to worry.”

“You know, that is not as comforting as you think.” Tim told him raising a brow at him, “It’s actually quite the opposite, you dealing with that on your own, why?”

Tears gathered in Jonnys eyes and he tried to blink them away, he shrugged weakly, he didn’t really have the energy to deal with this. His headache was gone, but he didn’t feel very rested and Tim looked so beautiful and concerned as xe leaned over him.

“You don’t know why or you don’t want to tell me?” god, Tim had always been too good at reading him.

“It’s stupid.” he mumbled.

“Why is that?” Tim asked and Jonny wondered if xe knew how pretty xe looked with xyr hair falling like a curtain xyr face, making a little bubble around them.

His heart ached with how much he wanted to pull xyr close and a sudden realization came over him as he remembered why he wanted to shoot again in the first place: impressing Tim.

Sure, when he found out it wasn’t working like he thought, he’d spiraled into obsession born out of fear of being incapable and not enough, but he felt like that most of the time, but the impressing Tim part had been new.

He blinked and a tear slowly slid over his face as he whispered: “I didn’t want you all to find out.”

His lip wobbled with the confession and Tim could only watch as his face crumbled again, still unable to do something about it and feeling like xe caused it.

Xe gathered Jonny back into xyr arms and leaned back on xyr knees, taking Jonny with xem as xe rocked him back and forth. Tim shushed and soothed him: “Hey, it’s alright, it’s all good. Just let it out.”

After a few seconds Jonny gasped: “No, no, it’s not.”

The hand that was rubbing his back stilled and Tim leaned back to look at him, a frown on xyr face: “Why is it not okay, Jonny?”

Xyr face was so open and honest that Jonny couldn't help but say: “It’s just not okay that I can’t seem to shoot right, so I can’t protect anyone and it all hurts and I can’t even do anything right without messing up and it’s all stupid.”

He was blubbering at the end, new tears flowing over tracks that hadn’t had the chance to dry. Tim held him close to xyr chest again, as xe tried to process everything Jonny had blurted out.

It was obvious that he was blaming himself, but it hadn’t seemed connected to the headaches, which what xe had asked about. Xe did have something to ask about now, however: “Can you tell me how your aim is connected to the headaches?”

Jonny took a few shuddering breaths against the crook of xyr neck, where he had hidden his face away, then he just gave himself over to telling Tim everything as he said: “The headaches got worse when I tried to shoot well again. I should be able to shoot well, but it’s gone now and whenever I try the concentrating hurts, but I need to shoot well.”

Tim frowned, that should not happen, at least xe thought it shouldn’t, but xe was not the best expert on normal human eyes, so xe focused on the last part: “You don’t have to shoot well, love.”

The pet name had just slipped out accidentally, but Jonny didn’t seem to mind, just burrowing his face further into xyr neck as he said: “Yes, I have. What if you’re all in danger and I need to shoot someone, but I miss and you all get hurt?”

“We’ll heal, we’re tougher than we look.” a hint of a smile crept into xyr voice.

“But what if it’s not enough, I can’t- I can’t loose you.” Jonnys voice cracked and Tim could feel xyr heart break a little for the First Mate.

Jonny sobbed against xyr again and xe resumed rubbing his back and rocking him back and forth as xe soothed him: “It will be enough, don’t worry. You’re not going to loose us, I promise, alright, I pinky-promise. I’m sure that with Brians knowledge, Ivys library and Raphs science we can make the headaches go away and get you to shoot again.”

“You really think so?” his voice was fragile, but hopeful.

“I know so.” Tim promised, hoping xe wouldn't have to break it.

Jonny sniffled a bit more, but the crying had stopped and he didn’t fight it when Tim pried him out of the crook of xyr neck and cradled his cheeks between xyr hands as xe wiped the tears away, smearing Jonnys run down make up in the process. 

When xe was done they stared each other in the eyes, before both blushed as they realized that Jonny was practically straddling Tim and hanging off xem like a koala. Jonny let go if burned, but hadn’t realized that he was in an unstable position, only held upright by the arms around Tims neck, and toppled over backwards.

Blinking a few times he looked up at Tim, who was now kneeling between his spread legs. Both scrambled backwards until they were sitting on opposite sides of the bed.

Tim cleared xyr throat: “Well, uhm, sorry, didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Lets- lets just look for some people who can help, alright?”

Xe got up, not daring to look Jonny in the eyes as xe waited for Jonny to follow and tell xem to forget all this ever happened.

Instead Jonny whispered: “You didn’t make me uncomfortable.”

Looking back xe saw Jonny, brow furrowed as he looked intensely to the bed, his cheeks were gray with ruined make up and he looked scared but also determined. He looked back up and stated: “You didn’t make me uncomfortable. Thank you for being here.”

Wordlessly Tim stared at him while the words hung heavy in the air around them. Slowly xe said: “What?”

Jonny took a deep breath: “I said thank you for being here, it was nice that you cared enough to help me with my headache and then my breakdown, I didn’t mean to put all of that on you, but thank you for staying anyway. Now, please listen, because I don’t think I am physically capable of saying all of this again.”

It was quiet again as Tim went through the words again, then xe smiled: “No problem, Jonny. You didn’t dump anything on me.” a beat of silence, “And of course I care.”

“What?” Jonny looked startled.

“Of course I care enough to help you, why would you think I didn’t?” Tim asked.

Helplessly Jonny shrugged, before he explained like it was obvious: “I’m annoying and the reason you’re here and you hate me?”

Tim opened and closed xyr mouth in shock a few times, then loudly exclaimed: “I don’t hate you, what the fuck!”

“You don’t?” Jonny asked, just as shocked and confused as xe felt.

“No.” Tim said, “You’re my best friend.”

“I am?” 

“Yes, of course you are.” Tim told him, “Didn’t- didn’t you know that?”

“Uh, no,” Jonny scratched the back of his head then quickly added, “but that’s not your fault. Nastya always says I’m socially oblivious and a doom-thinker with no concept of self-esteem. Her words.”

“Oh, Jonny.” xe sighed.

“Sorry?”

“Not sorry, you idiot.” Tim told him, walking back to the bed to give him a big hug, “I should’ve been clearer.”

Jonny swallowed and hugged xem back. He softly asked: “Why are you always trying to be better than me? Just confused if we’re friends.”

“Uh,” xe knew that xe had been showing off, trying to get Jonnys attention all on xem at every chance, because it was intoxicating to have, “Just the dynamic between us, I guess.”

“Hmm.” Jonny hummed, “Can we find a new dynamic? One where we don’t fight so much?”

“Course.” Tim said as xe let go, xe gave Jonny a look and commented: “You’re softer than normal, it suits you.”

Xe wanted to hit xyrself for that, but it was too late, the words were already out xyr mouth.

Jonny in turn just looked startled for a moment, then blushed heavily. Tim remember xe’d thought xe’d seen Jonny blush last night, now that didn’t seem so strange anymore. Jonny shrugged: “Doesn’t seem worth the effort to look tough when I just cried into your neck.”

Tim chuckled at that and after a moment Jonny chuckled too and soon they were giggling on the bed together at the weirdness of it all.

When the giggling had died out, Tim turned to Jonny and said: “You don’t have to pretend with me, okay?”

“You don’t either.” Jonny told xem.

For a moment they stared at each other. Time seemed to stretch out, until Jonny couldn't take it anymore and blinked as he cleared his throat, before he got up and said: “Well, we got people to find.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Tim said, quickly following him as xe tried to burn the memories of Jonny in xyr arms, Jonny looking at xem like that and Jonny giggling, into xyr mind to treasure forever.

Jonny cleaned up his face before they went back to the common area, maybe walking a bit closer than before the whole thing.

When they entered Ashes and Brian shot up and Nastya turned around to look at them. Jonny ducked his head in shame and hid slightly behind Tim.

“How are you feeling, Jonny?” Brian asked kindly.

“Uh, better, no headache anymore, still a bit tired.” Jonny answered.

“Good, I’m glad. You scared us.” Brain told him.

Jonny bit his lip, then softly apologized. Ashes wasn’t having any of it, they just said: “No need for that. Just tell us what the hell happened. You were just being yourself, albeit a bit more prickly and then suddenly you were down.”

Tim could see Jonny wasn’t about to answer that, so xe jumped in: “Jonny got a headache. He has them a lot, but was hiding them from us like a idiot, but him falling was nothing more than him getting overwhelmed.”

“Snitch.” Jonny glared at xem.

Dramatically putting an arm around him, xe replied with an obnoxiously posh accent: “Here to help, darling.”

Jonny shoved xem off, but he was smiling again. Nastya raised a brow at him and commented: “You two are friendly.”

They both got a bit red, then Jonny said: “So maybe you were right and xe didn’t hate me, but that doesn’t mean you get to be smug about it.”

“Yeah, we’re friends.” Tim added.

It seemed like xe’d cut Nastya off, who had been about to make a comment, but instead frowned and asked: “Friends?”

“Yes, Nastya, do keep up.” Jonny told her.

Getting back on topic Tim said: “Anyway, Jonny thinks the headaches have something to do with concentrating on stuff or something, so I thought maybe one of the crew would know something about that.”

Xe gave Brian a look, who pointed at himself surprised as Tim nodded, then he said: “Uh, could be something with your eyes, but Raphaella would know more about that.”

“Then we’ll go to her.” Tim said brightly, already pulling Jonny along.

Tim didn’t check to see who followed, but everyone was there when they arrived at Raphaellas lab, slamming the door open, startling her enough to make her drop a substance that ate through her desk.

She ignored it in order to wave at them with a smile as she asked: “What are you all doing here? Not that it isn’t a welcome surprise.”

Jonny got pushed forward by Tim as xe explained: “Jonny gets headaches from concentrating on stuff. Do you know how we can fix it?”

“I could’ve said that myself.” Jonny grumbled, getting ignored.

Raphaella walked up to Jonny and pulled him towards an examination table where she inspected his face carefully. She asked: “When do they happen the most?”

“Uhm, they started getting worse when I tried to focus on something far away a lot.” Jonny told her.

She brightened up and ran off to pull up a chart with rows of rings from big to small with openings at different places. She pointed at a top one and asked: “Where’s the opening?”

“Left.” Jonny answered, “Why are we doing this?”

“Just humor me.” she replied.

Jonny didn’t seem to have figured out what he was looking at, never having seen a proper doctors office in his life, but it dawned on the others what was happening here. An eye test. With big eyes they followed the proceedings.

They were on the fourth row when Jonny angrily exclaimed: “How is anyone supposed to see that shit. I don’t fucking know, okay. Happy? Can someone please explain why the hell I’m even doing this.”

“It’s an eye test, idiot.” Ashes told him from where they were standing next to him, “And I can see all the rows perfectly.”

“What! No?” Jonny said, leaning forwards and looking at the chart again, “No.”

“That could be the reason the headaches.” Raphaella explained, “Your brain needs to make too much of an effort to see everything and the strain outs itself in headaches. The more you try to see, the more you strain, the more headaches you have.”

“But I’ve never had any problems with my sight.” Jonny sounded a bit scared.

“Head trauma can also cause loss in eyesight.” Raphaella told him gently in an attempt to calm him.

“What about my mechanism? Shouldn’t it heal that?” the calming had not helped him.

Raphaella thought for a second, then lit up as she got the answer and proudly stated: “It’s probably that it was a design flaw. You lost your sight a bit, but Nastya already had glasses and with Brian it wasn’t an issue, same goes for Ivy, you know hard to have brain damage there, and by the time Ashes got mechanized Carmilla had gotten the flaw ironed out and it wasn’t an issue anymore.”

Jonny gaped for a second, then seethed: “That bitch! I told her my aim was shittier and she said it was nothing, that I’d just gotten lazy.”

“Hey, hey, Jonny, calm down.” Tim put a hand on his shoulder, “We know, she sucks, nothing to do there, but at least we can fix it.”

“I’m not wearing glasses.” Jonny huffed.

“Why not? Do you think they’re stupid?” Nastya said in a dangerous tone.

Jonny swallowed: “No, of course not. Just completely inconvenient.” and an obvious weakness he added mentally.

“Do it for us.” Tim blurted out.

“What?” Jonny asked and xe got looks from the others as well.

“If you wear the glasses, you won’t have headaches anymore. I don’t want you to have the headaches. If they’re as bad as the one from yesterday, I don’t want you to have them anymore. So even if you hate them, wear them for us.” xe explained.

It was quiet as Jonny thought it over. 

On one hand he really wanted to make Tim and the others happy and wearing the glasses would make them happy, he also would be able to shoot properly again, but on the other hand he already was a stupid little asshole and the glasses would just highlight another place where he wasn’t good enough.

Apparently he’d been quiet for too long, because Tim softly asked: “Jonny?”

“Nothing.” he answered, gesturing vaguely, “It’s just- it’s just- you know?”

“I know it must suck.” Tim smiled gently, “But it’ll help. You’ll have to get used to it, but you will be optimally functional again.”

He supposed the pros outweighed the cons, especially if he would make Tim happy and be able to see xem better again. He sighed and agreed: “Fine, get me the stupid glasses.”

Raphaella dragged him off to do more tests to get the perfect glasses, while the others slowly left the room until it was just him, Raphaella and Tim. He was glad Tim hadn’t left him.

“Alright, I can have them in a few hours, though if you want different frames than these ones you will have to wait until we’re planetside again.” she held up a pair of golden wire frames, with slightly big round lenses.

“Try them on for a sec, I’ll tell you how stupid you look on a scale of one to ten.” Tim encouraged him teasingly, “Promise not to lie.”

He rolled his eyes, but he couldn't help but humor xem, so he put on the glasses and looked at Tim and did a flourish: “So, how do I look?”

Jonny looked absolutely adorable. The glasses highlighted the soft features in his face and made his eyes seem bigger. Tim felt xyrself flush, xe would have to make a serious effort to talk to Jonny if that was what he was going to look like from now.

“That stupid, eh.” Jon laughed self deprecatingly, taking Tims silence for disapproval.

“No!” Tim stopped him from taking the glasses off, a bit calmer xe said: “No, you look- you look great, it suits you.”

Xe got a skeptical look, but Jonny shrugged and told Raphaella: “These have been Tim approved, apparently, so I guess they’re fine.”

“I think they look nice too, Jonny.” she told him, taking the frames back, “I’ll come find you when they’re done, okay?”

“Alright, thank you, Raph.” Jonny sighed, as he followed Tim back out of the lab.

When they were in the hallway, Tim asked: “Are you really okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” he didn’t seem convinced of his own answer and realized xe wasn’t either, so he shrugged: “Just another part where I went wrong.”

“Hey, you don’t get to be mean to Jonny, he’s my friend.” Tim told him. Xe was glad that Jonny laughed at the comment, then xe went on: “Seriously, though, needing glasses isn’t a weakness. It happens, Nastya has glasses, she’s not weak, right?”

“Yeah, I suppose, but she also has a lot of good points.” Jonny sounded so resigned and sad.

Tim stopped and grabbed Jonny. Xe looked him in the eyes and said: “You have a lot of good qualities. I never said this, because I thought there was no need to feed your massive ego, but it seems your ego is starving.”

“What are you going on about?”

“You’re a great person. You have many good points. You make sure everyone is alright in your own way and make sure everyone is happy. You’re the one keeping us together, everybody loves you, okay. Don’t get it into your pretty little head that you’re not, okay, cause you are.” Tim ranted at him.

It was quiet as Jonny blinked a few moments, then he nodded and said: “I’ll try?”

Not what Tim was hoping for, but good enough. Xe nodded back: “Good, I’ll make sure you won’t forget.”

They looked at each other for a second, then awkwardly coughed, before silently walking to the common area, to wait till Raphaella was done.

It wasn’t until dinner that they saw her again. In her hand she had the glasses and she proudly presented them to Jonny, who shrunk under everyone's eyes as he took them form her.

“Since when does Jonny have glasses?” Marius asked.

“Since today.” Nastya told him, “The idiot hadn’t realized he needed them.”

“Not an idiot.” Jonny grumbled, putting the glasses on the table.

“Oh come on, you’re not gonna try them on? I want to see if I got them right, come on, come on, please.” Raphaella said.

Jonny groaned, but still put on the glasses. He turned to everyone and said: “You get two minutes to laugh at me, then I’m murdering anyone who does.”

“What? Why would we laugh?” Brian asked, “They suit you.”

“Are you sure you’re not able to lie?” Jonny sounded suspicious.

Brian showed him the switch and smiled: “The glasses look good on y-”

“Holy fuck!” Jonny shouted cutting him off, “I can see your switch from here!”

He looked around the room with wide eyes of wonder, taking the time to look at everyone, sometimes shaking his head and looking again. 

It was utterly endearing. 

Then he looked up and gasped: “Did y’all know Aurora has panels on her ceilings as well?”

“Yes, yes, we did, Jonny.” Ashes smiled at him.

“Ahw, you’re so cute.” Marius told him.

Jonny flushed bright red and Tim suddenly wondered how xe though Jonny never blushed, when he blushed so easily and beautifully. Xe resolved to complement him more, just to see it.

Xe was pulled out of xyr musings with Marius falling over after Jonny had shoved him with a: “Don’t mock me, von Raum.”

“I’m not.” he exclaimed from the floor, “You look adorable when you look around like that. Like you’re discovering the world for the first time again.”

“Shut up and eat.” Jonny groused, not looking at any of them and stabbing his food harshly.

The others were smart enough to drop it and soon conversations had drifted elsewhere. Although Tim couldn't help but notice Jonny looking at stuff and grinning like a maniac to himself from time to time.

After that things went back to normal, only Jonny had glasses this time and xe and Jonny actually spend time together. 

It was way more fun when they weren’t constantly trying to upstage one another and having Jonnys attention as xe told him about something stupid or made him laugh was even more intoxicating than xe would have thought.

They still played cards with Ashes, but they also talked together, hung out, softly played familiar tunes or existed in the same space in silence, just enjoying each others company.

A few weeks had passed like this and the whole crew was drinking together like normal while Marius was pissing Jonny off, also like normal. He was talking about some analyses or another when Jonny rolled his eyes as he drew his pistol and shot at him.

This was something normal as well, although instead of hitting the door frame next to Marius he shot the other straight through his brain, cutting him off mid-sentence as he fell to the floor.

It was quiet as everyone looked from Marius’s corpse to Jonny, who looked just as surprised as them. Tim broke the silence: “I guess the glasses are working then.”

Jonny grinned: “Hell yeah, I got my aim back.”

“Oh damn.” Ashes raised both their brows, “I always thought you were exaggerating when talking about your aim, since you were shit.”

“Wonderful what being able to see can do for someone.” Ivy deadpanned, not even bothering to look up from her book.

Tim laughed while Marius got up and frowned: “That was rude.”

“Then stop being annoying.” Jonny stuck out his tongue.

After that it went back to the usual shenanigans they got up to when drinking together, although Jonny did seem a bit more smug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically Ashes got mechanized before Ivy and Brian, I think, but it’s the Mechs, so like timeline who? Never heard of her.
> 
> This might be a bit out of character, but I live to self-indulge and I feel like I galaxy brained with Soft Jonny and Soft Tim.
> 
> Also the dinner scene is inspired by my mom, who always tells me she was so surprised you can actually see the leaves of a tree, lol. I thought that was pretty funny and cute :)
> 
> Comments and Kudos are the best, so if you leave any you're automatically also the best and I love you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny, Tim and Ashes get into a bar brawl. Jonnys glasses break and he doesn't want to wear them anymore, but when the headache comes back he goes to Tim for comfort. Afterwards he goes to Nastya, who tells him Tim likes him.

They had reached a planet and Jonny and Tim were looking to cause some trouble. Ashes had caught onto their plan and promptly joined them when leaving the ship. 

They wandered around until they found a seedy bar where a fight would be imminent. A bit smaller than they would otherwise go for, but Brian had told them explicitly to be back on time since they weren’t planning on staying for more than a day.

The patrons gave them dirty looks when they walked in and Jonny couldn't help but grin and wave at them, before ordering a bunch of alcohol.

Tim got a table in the center of the bar and they set to working through the bottles as they waited for someone to start shit they could jump on to join, however, all were prepared to start something themselves if it took too long.

“Hey, four-eyes.” apparently they did not have to wait, Jonny thought as he looked around to see what was happening between who.

Once he was turned around the voice spoke again: “Yeah, you. Who do you think you are smug little librarian prick.”

With a shock Jonny realized the halfway to comatose man was talking to him. Just in case he pointed at himself and asked: “Me?”

“Don’t play dumb, nerd.” the man was swaying, “You think you’re so much better than us. Coming in here with your smug little face.”

“Say that again.” a mix of anger and delight at the confrontation was flowing through his veins.

“Smug little four-eyed freak.” the man said, before punching Jonny in the face. 

His glasses flew off, but Jonny had a lot of practice in fighting without them, something the man hadn’t counted on when he’d singled him out, and grabbed the man by the throat and punched him in the face until he collapsed.

Tim and Ashes had gotten up as well as Jonny looked around the bar, face splattered with blood and a manic grin plastered on, he grinned: “Who’s next?”

And that was their cue to start, some senseless violence to get the blood pumping.

In the end they had to resort to running to Aurora with law enforcement on their heels as they laughed while the fire spread through the city. 

Tims hands clutched two halves of a pair of glasses. Xe had managed to pick them up before they had to flee and although they were broken, xe still held on tight to them.

Back on Aurora Tim handed them to Jonny as xe said: “They’re a bit broken, but they’re fixable, nothing a little tape won’t help until we can get them to Raph or Nastya.”

Jonny looked at the two halves of his glasses, before he turned to Tim with a broken look on his face as he stated: “That man was mad at me for wearing glasses. Why? What is so bad about wearing glasses, there is so much to say about me, but he picked that?”

Tim looked to Ashes for support, but it seemed they had walked on without them. Xe sighed sadly and told Jonny: “I don’t know, Jonny.”

“I don’t wanna wear em anymore. It’s stupid, I deserve to be beaten up for different things.” Jonny stated and dropped the halves, before stomping off.

Xe picked up the glasses again and sighed to himself, there was way too much to unpack there, even if it had just been badly selected phrasing on Jonnys part.

Still, xe took the glasses to xyr room and gently taped them together, before leaving them at Jonnys door, when the other wouldn't let xem in.

No one saw Jonny for a week after that and the glasses remained outside his door. Tim had told the others what had happened when he’d failed to show up for dinner for the third day in a row. Afterwards xe had caught multiple members of the crew outside his door trying to reason with him about the glasses, no success so far.

Then, suddenly, Tim got woken up in the middle on the night by someone knocking at xyr door, xe groaned and called out: “Yes?”

“Can I come in?” it was Jonny, he sounded tired and hurt.

Immediately Tim was out xyr bed and at the door, sliding it open with a bang. Jonny flinched at the sound as Tim asked: “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

The taped together glasses were perched on his nose, but he had his eyes closed as he miserably said: “The headaches came back.” he was near tears, “I thought I could go without them, but I wasn’t strong enough.”

“Oh, poor thing.” Tim sighed, leading Jonny to xyr bed as xe said: “There is no strength connected to this, you can’t help it, you were good enough.”

Jonny shivered beneath xem at the words and allowed himself to be tucked into Tims bed.

“Did you drink enough?” Tim asked.

He shook his head and admitted: “I didn’t want to leave my room and drinking straight from the tab is too much work.”

“Then I’ll get you a glass.” Tim told him gently.

“You’re leaving me?” he asked, still not opening his eyes, but fear in his voice.

“No, I have a glass in my bathroom, I’ll be back in a moment. Here get comfortable.” xe got the glasses of his face and petted the top of his head for a second.

When xe returned with the glass of water, Jonny was softly swaying back and forth with his eyes closed as he hummed under his breath and fiddled with the blanket.

He startled slightly when the bed dipped under Tims weight, but he relaxed when xe said: “It’s just me. Here, hold out your hand and I’ll give you the water.”

Jonny took it gratefully and started to drink, only slowing down when Tim warned: “Small sips, calm down, dear.”

Again a pet name, Tim wanted to call Jonny them so badly, but xe couldn't, still somehow they managed to slip out at the worst times and xe was always too late to stop them from tumbling out of xyr mouth.

However it didn’t seem like Jonny had noticed as xe took the glass out of Jonnys hands and set it down on the bedside table, before crawling up the bed. Xe asked: “You want to talk about it or just lie here for now? Should I do the same as last time then?”

“Would you mind just- yeah, doing the same?” Jonny sounded small and unsure.

Despite knowing Jonny couldn't see xem, xe smiled anyway: “Of course. Just lie down.”

Jonny sagged against the pillow and Tim carefully laid down on top of him, not believing how much Jonny must trust xem, to keep his eyes closed the entire time and to let Tim take the lead to take care of him.

Xe vowed to never break Jonnys trust as xe got comfortable on his chest, pushing xyr hands under Jonnys shoulder blades as xe waited for Jonny to drop off to dreamland, something xe didn’t have to wait long for.

The next morning xe was awoken again, this time by hands carding through xyr hair and soft vibrations under xyr head as soft melodies drifted through the air. Xe sighed and burrowed into the warm chest as xe mumbled: “Five more minutes.”

Someone chuckled, Jonny, xyr mind registered, which was confirmed when the familiar voice said: “Didn’t mean to wake you up, you can go back to sleep.”

The offer was very tempting, but Tim knew xe was lying on top of Jonny cuddling him and it would probably be weird and less than platonic to go back to sleep while knowing that, so xe rolled off Jonny and said: “No, I’m awake, held you captive long enough under me, sorry for that, by the way, you’re allowed to push me off, you know.”

Jonny shrugged: “Didn’t want to, you seemed too peaceful to wake up and it was the least I could do after barging into your room in the middle of the night.”

The events flooded back and Tim cracked open one eye and asked: “You okay? Want to talk about it now?”

“I rather not talk about it, but I’m fine.” he leaned over Tim and gently slapped the nightstand in search of his glasses, putting them back on his face he sighed: “Better get these fixed, seems like I’m stuck wearing them forever.”

“If you don’t want to talk about it I could take them to Raphaella to get them fixed.” Tim offered, an idea forming in xyr mind.

Jonny smiled at xem, glasses crooked on his face, before he said: “That’s sweet, but I’m taking them to Nastya, haven’t seen her in a while and she likes yelling at me for being stupid.”

“As long as you’re sure.” Tim checked in one last time.

“I am.” Jonny said, “Really I’m fine, just hated that and then with the headache it only amplified the badness.” his voice got soft, “Thank you, for letting me stay here again.”

“It’s what friends do.” Tim told him, wishing they were so much more than that.

Meanwhile Jonny nodded, yes, friends, they were just friends. It didn’t matter that Jonny was trying to spend all his time with Tim and get xyrs attention constantly, that xe was the only person beside Nastya he trusted enough to turn to for comfort.

“I’ll get going then, maybe you can fall asleep again.” he told Tim, wishing he could lie down next to xem and curl up in xyr arms again without him being weird, to soothe the ache in his heart that he felt whenever he looked at Tim knowing xe wasn’t his.

Tim waited until Jonnys footsteps had faded, before xe rolled out of bed and got ready to face the day. Xe’d gotten an idea and with Jonny at Nastyas, this was the perfect time.

Xe set off towards Raphaella sneaking into Jonnys room beforehand to snatch up the pair of goggles that lay on the sink next to some of Jonnys make up and other knickknacks.

Once xe had explained xyr idea to Raphaella she’d clapped in her hands and told xem, she could be done in half an hour, since she had made spare lenses just in case.

With the goggles in hand xe set out to find Jonny and give him the goggles. Xe knew that Nastya would probably be holed up in the engine room, so Jonny would probably be there as well. Xe was about to knock, when xe heard Jonny exclaimed: “Xe doesn’t like me like that, you’re delusional, Nastya.”

“No, you’re just too blind to see.” Nastya replied.

“Of course I’m blind, you have my glasses.” Tim could hear the pleased smirk in the statement.

“You’ve become somehow even more annoying since you got glasses.” Nastya told him, “And you’re deflecting, don’t think I wouldn't notice.”

Jonny groaned, before he whined: “You’re just seeing that, because you want to see that. Xe doesn’t care for me like that, didn’t I just tell you xe told me about being friends this morning? Honestly, I thought you were paying attention.”

“I was and I’m not seeing things because I want to. I see them, because I have eyes. It’s quite disgusting how mushy you two are even without being together.” Nastya said, “And as for the friend thing, I would bet xe is just trying to keep it as platonic as possible to avoid making you uncomfortable.”

“Still don’t believe you, provide your evidence.” Jonny told her.

Tim felt hope creeping up xyr body, was it possible that Jonny liked xem back? They were talking about xem that was obvious and it seemed like Jonny wanted xem to like him and that Nastya had caught on to xyr feelings for Jonny and if she would give a good enough answer, maybe Jonny would see it too.

Excitedly xe leaned against the door and waited for Nastyas answer. She sighed: “Why do I need to solve your relationship problems?”

“Okay, one, not in a relationship, so not technically relationship problems. Two, I helped you and Aurora get together, so I think you owe me.” Jonny replied.

“Ugh, maybe.”

Jonny cheered, making Tim smile outside, without realizing xe did, at the happy sound from Jonny.

“So, evidence, right. You want evidence?” Nastya waited for Jonny to confirm, “Lets start with how xe looks at you, if I just saw that I would think you personally created the world just for xem. I can see heart eyes from miles away with xem.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, xe might have metal eyes, but it’s almost like they’re heart shaped.” Nastya confirmed, “Then how xe gets around you, that person goes soft.”  
“What, that’s just xem. Xe’s nice.”

“God, you get that same disgusting love-sick look that xe gets.” Nastya groaned, “But no, xe’s not always like that, xe melts when you enter a room. It’s physically visible to see xem sag with mushiness. And then xe also gets all nice with you, xe’s an asshole with everyone else, but xe’ll open doors for you, save you a seat, make sure we have your favourite drink on board. It’s sweet, but also disgusting.”

Tim blushed as she just laid out xyr soul for Jonny to inspect and xe was glad that xe couldn't see Jonny right now. Xe didn’t think xe could take it, if Jonny was weirded out by it.

“Xe really does all that?” Jonny asked, his voice was strange, almost a bit float-y, “Not just being friendly, cause we’re friends?”

“No, Jonny, no, please open your goddamn eyes.” there was a fond undertone in Nastyas annoyance, “Want me to go on?”

“There’s more?” Jonny sounded surprised.

“There’s more?” Nastya mocked him, “Of course there is. Xe’s constantly complementing you about every little thing.”

Tim couldn't see Jonny frown slightly at that. He remembered Tims promise to never make him forget that he was good enough, it made him happy inside to know that xe wouldn't break a promise to him and he didn’t like how Nastya had said it.

“Xe’s keeping a promise, nothing more.” Jonny said.

“What kind of promise was that?” Nastya asked.

Jonny didn’t answer and she rolled her eyes: “Whatever it was, it isn’t exactly platonic to promise someone to complement them constantly.”

“It’s a friend thing.” Jonny insisted.

“Well, it didn’t sound very platonic and just a friend thing when xe talked about you with Ashes.” Nastya exclaimed.

Tim froze, how did Nastya know that? Ashes promised not to tell, they swore on their candle collection. 

“How do you know that?” see this is why xe liked Jonny, he asked great questions.

“I was fixing something in the vents and overheard them. I didn’t mean to, but Aurora was hurting.” she had the dignity to sound sheepish.

Quietly Jonny asked: “Is it wrong to ask what they talked about?”

“I mean, probably.” Nastya answered.

It was silent for a few beats, then Jonny said: “No, that would be mean. I know I would hate it, if xe knew I was talking about xem like this.”

“Look at you taking the moral high ground.” Tim could barely hear Nastyas reply over the blood rushing past xyr ears. Xe was breaking Jonnys trust by being here, Jonny had the mind to let xem be, but xe had to go and just listen to him.

Xe swallowed hard and clutched the goggles, before running off as fast as xe could to hide away from Jonny in shame. Xe couldn't believe xyrself, how could xe been so selfish?

While Tim was running away Jonny took his now fixed glasses back from Nastya and said: “Thanks for that. I, uh, I’ll see if I talk to xem.”

“I will never breathe a word of this, if you promise to talk to xem to moment you run into xem.” Nastya replied.

“And if I don’t?” Jonny was a bit scared.

“If you don’t and I have to watch you two dance around each other again, I will tell xem what you told me here, myself.” she answered.

“Promise I will then.” he squeaked and hurried out of the room, before she could do anything.

“Don’t be a stranger, well, be a bit of a stranger, but not too much.” she called out after him.

“Yes, m’lady.” he yelled back, knowing he was out of range.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to call this ‘I gave Jonny a reason to have goggles’, but that didn’t seem so fitting anymore when I was done, lol
> 
> Also, I know miscommunication can be frustrating, but I promise it will be resolved next chapter and I only did it because I wanted th 'lock them in together until talk' trope and this was the way to do it ;)
> 
> Comments are the best, Kudos too, so thank you so much for leaving any if you did, you are A+ <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny and Tim fall apart and come back together and finally confess. Not out of themselves of course, they got friends to lock them into a storage bay after all

Jonny spend the rest of the day walking around the ship as he tried to make a script in his head of what to say to Tim when he saw xem, but he did not run into xem, which was strange, since usually they would walk around together.

He shrugged it off, Tim had other things to do than be with Jonny. He would see xem tomorrow, maybe xe had decided to sleep today away after Jonny had disturbed xyr sleep.

But then the day turned into a week and Jonny hadn’t seen Tim at all and a seed of doubt had started to grow in his mind. 

Had he weirded Tim out by showing up again wanting to be cuddled? Was Nastya wrong about how Tim felt? Had xe figured out how Jonny felt and hated him for it? Was that why xe was ignoring him?

As the days wore on he got sadder and sadder, until he decided that walking around alone wasn’t as nice as walking with Tim, which made him even more sad, so he stopped coming out of his room and just stayed in bed.

Meanwhile Tim was hiding out in xyr room, only coming out when xe knew no one was there to get some food or something to drink. 

Xe had messed up. Jonny had come to xem with trust, knowing he could be safe with Tim and Tim had turned around and thrown it into his face by listening in a private conversation.

Tim didn’t deserve to tell Jonny how xe felt, didn’t deserve to get that chance of being loved in return. Xe had broken Jonnys trust and xe shouldn't be rewarded for that. Xe could hide xyrself away until Jonny would see what a terrible person xe was.

Every day xe sat there, clutching the goggles xe’d stolen as xe thought of how differently it could’ve gone if it had taken Raphaella a bit longer. 

Tim knew xe should give the goggles back, but then xe would have to face Jonny and xe didn’t know how that would go or if xyr heart could take that confrontation.

The rest had no clue what had happened. Tim and Jonny had become joint at the hip, always together these days it seemed, until suddenly it had changed.

First Tim had disappeared to xyr room and they had to watch as Jonny grew sadder and sadder, walking past each day, but never daring to knock until he too disappeared into his room, presumably to be sad alone.

Nastya had tried to come in and check up on him, but he’d yelled at her to go away. She couldn't remember the last time he’d actually yelled at her in anger.

Ashes and Brian had knocked on Tims door, but had gotten no reaction from xem, no matter how many times they tried.

When the days continued to stretch out the others got together. They were worried about the two and knew they needed to talk, before this turned into a fight that would last a few centuries. 

Nastya had cornered Ashes to tell them about the conversations and Ashes had managed to rope Brian into it as well and soon they found themselves ready to set the plan in motion.

Jonny was moping under as many blankets as he had managed to squirrel together, when he got startled out of his spiral of anxiety and sadness by someone pulling the blankets of him. He turned around to see Nastya with one hand on her hip.

“This is for your own good.” she told him, before she shot him and his world went black.

While that happened, Ashes stood outside of Tims room and announced: “Tim, we know you’re in there and we’re coming in. You have three seconds to open the door, before we open it for you.”

When the countdown was done, the door was still closed, but with one signal from Ashes Brian soon changed that as he blasted the door open. 

Inside Tim looked up, sadness written over xyr face as xe tiredly asked: “What do you want from me? Why are you even here? Go away.”

“You’re locking yourself in here and making Jonny sad. Fix it.” Ashes crossed their arms, “Tell him how you feel and fix it.

“He should be mad at me.” Tim moped, “I deserve it.”

Ashes sighed, then dropped to the floor next to xem and put an arm around xem. They said: “I don’t know what happened between you two, but if you hide away and don’t talk it’s only going to grow and fester. Beside, I think it’s up to Jonny to decide how he feels, not you. And right now he’s decided to be sad, not angry.”

“Is he really that bad?” Tim asked, growing concerned.

“He stopped talking depressive walks and has turned to moping in his bed. I don’t even know if he’s been eating or drinking.” Ashes told xem honestly.

Xe swallowed heavily, this had never been xyr plan. Not that xe had a good plan when xe locked xyrself away, but still. Jonny was sad and it was xyr fault, xe had to make it up to him.

“But what if he doesn’t want to see me anymore?” the thought suddenly popped in xyr head, a hollow feeling forming in xyr chest.

“Tim.” Ashes warned xem, “We don’t have much time. Come with us.”

“No.” Tim shook xyr head, the confrontation would be too much. Xe would be better off never knowing the look Jonny would get in his eyes when he looked at xem with a mix of disgust and betrayal.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Ashes sighed and a heavy metal hand knocked xem unconscious.

Xe awoke in a dim storage bay. The light above the door signaled it was locked and Tim started to get what Ashes plan had been as xe cursed at them, before scanning the room, finding Jonnys dead from on the floor next to xem.

He looked bad. There were bags under his eyes and he looked thinner and paler than before, it was fading as he healed, but the fact that it was there worried Tim.

Quickly crawling towards him, xe took his head into xyr lap and with a handkerchief from xyr inner pocket, xe started to clean the blood away. 

Jonny had once told xem how much he hated the sticky blood in his hair, a bitch to clean Tim knew from experience. Better to get it out before it dried.

Tim was still busy getting it all out when Jonny groaned and began to stir. Xe froze in xyr place unsure how Jonny would react to finding himself in Tims lap.

He blinked the dead out of his eyes and patted the floor next to him, frowning when he didn’t find his glasses. Tim had seen them earlier on the floor and leaned over, before handing them to Jonny, who took them from xem.

Blinking again, this time finally taking in his surroundings, his eyes fell on Tim and how he was sitting very closely next to xem. 

His eyes grew wide and he scrambled away in a hurry while he apologized.

Tims heart broke at the action, Jonny hated xem and didn’t want to be near xem. Xe understood, but that didn’t make it any less hard. Xe hugged xyr knees to xyr chest and said: “Not your fault, I shouldn't have done that.”

From his scrambled away position Jonny took Tim in. Xe still was gorgeous, but xe was turned into xyrself and muted. Jonny hated it, but he knew why Tim would look like that. Xe was stuck in a room with Jonny, whom xe hated. He swallowed heavily and tried to blink away the tears. 

Trying to start up a conversation, he softly asked: “They shot you too?”

“Huh? Uhm, no.” Tim replied, not expecting Jonny to start up a conversation with the person he hated, “Brian blew in my door and when I wouldn't listen to Ashes and come with them, he knocked me unconscious. They turned his switch probably, so I didn’t really see it coming.”

“Oh.” Jonny said.

It was quiet for a long while, neither of them really dared to break the silence, afraid of what the other would tell them.

But the silence bore down on Jonny, so he asked: “Why did Ashes want you to come? I have no clue why were here other than it would be for my own good, but I don’t know how much Nastya knows about that.”

Tim blushed and ducked further into xyrself, but xe did not answer Jonnys question, which worried him. 

After a moment of deliberation with himself, Jonny moved to sit down next to xem. He’d reasoned that if Tim already hated him, he might as well try to comfort xem, the worse thing that could happen was that xe would hate him more.

He knocked his shoulder against xyrs and said: “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. We can find our way out of here and you don’t have to talk to me anymore after that, it’s okay.”

It was very much not okay, but Tim didn’t have to know how he’d almost choked on the words and his heart felt like the metal had turned into ice.

The words slammed into Tims chest, Jonny sounded so fragile as he said that, so resigned that Tim did not want to talk to him. Xe didn’t know what exactly he’d conjured in his thoughts, but if it was up to xem they were definitely still on speaking terms if Jonny managed to forgive xem.

“No, it’s alright, just embarrassing.” xe quickly told him.

“Embarrassing?” Jonny repeated in a questioning tone.

“Yeah, uhm, they told me to- you know. God this is hard.” Tim groaned, beside xem Jonny stayed quiet while xe got xyr thoughts in order, “They told me to tell you how I feel about you and make things better again.”

For a moment the silence stretched out between them, then slowly Jonny asked: “And how- how do you feel about me?”

This was it, the moment of truth. Xe might get xyr heart broken, might loose xyr best friend, might never be the same again, but there was hope in Jonnys voice and if this turned out right this might also be the start of something great.

“I- I like you.” xe told him, making eyecontact.

Xe could see how Jonnys eyes got wide and his mouth formed a little ‘o’, right before blood rushed to his face and colored his cheeks. Then his expression morphed into a frown and with a hurt voice he asked: “Then why did you ignore me?”

“Because I messed up.” Tim looked away guiltily, “I broke your trust and you should be mad at me.”

“Why? What did you do?” Jonny was confused and hurting and he just wanted to know what the horrible thing Tim had done was. He had seen xem commit so many crimes, what was so bad xe couldn't say it?

“I overheard you talking to Nastya.” xe whispered the confession.

A beat of silence, then a surprised: “What?”

“I didn’t mean to, I swear. I was just looking for you, because I got you something, but then you and Nastya were talking about me and I- I wanted to know so bad if you liked me back, so I stayed and I listened and then Nastya told you about me talking to Ashes and you- you didn’t want to know for my sake, but I- but I did that to you.” Tim was crying now, xyr voice cracking.

For a second nothing happened, then Tim had a lap full of Jonny, who hugged xem tightly and let xem burrow xyr head into his chest as he buried a hand in xyr hair.

Against xyr hairline he whispered: “Oh, Tim, I don’t mind that at all, why didn’t you say?”

Tim hiccuped: “But I broke your trust.”

“I mean, yes, but if you’d told me, I would’ve said that I liked you too and that I was glad I didn’t have to be the one to open my mouth about it first.” Jonny told xem.

“You still like me?” Tim asked timidly.

The blush was still prominent in his features as Jonny nodded and whispered: “Yes, kind of a lot.”

“Can I- can I kiss you?” Tim asked, they were already sharing breaths and with their foreheads resting against each other Tim could feel Jonny nod.

Xe didn’t know, which of them moved first, but soon their lips met in the middle. Jonnys lips were softer than xe had expected and they yielded so easily for xyrs as xe softly moved xyrs against his until xe deepened the kiss.

Jonnys hand was in xyr hair and he was straddling xyr lap as he clutched to xem tightly, his head to the side and his eyes closed.

When they were nearly breathless they broke apart to catch their breath. Jonnys glasses had slid down along his nose and were now balancing precariously on the tip as they fogged up a bit from their breaths. 

Tim smiled and gently pushed them up his nose, giggling when he went cross eyed to follow the motion.

The action reminded xem of the goggles xe still had with xem and xe patted xyr pockets until xe was able to fish them out of one and present them to Jonny: “For you.”

“These are my goggles.” Jonny took them and inspected them a bit confused.

“Oh, yeah, I took them, it’s why I was looking for you. I wanted to give them to you.” Tim told him.

“Why would you need to give me my goggles after taking them from me? Not that I don’t appreciate you giving me my stuff back.” Jonny said.

“I had Raphaella put lenses with a prescription in them, so you can wear them instead of your glasses.” Tim explained, “You were so upset about it and they flew off during the fight and broke, so I thought that maybe you appreciate having another option.”

With that explanation Jonny brightened up and with Tim holding him in place on xyr lap, he had his hands free to try them on. He put his normal glasses on Tims head, before trying on the goggles and looking around.

“All clear.” he announced, then shook his head a bit, “And secure.”

He looked back to Tim and bashfully gave xem a peck on the nose, before he said: “Thank you, Tim, that’s really sweet.”

“No problem, dear, did it with love.” Tim grinned, happy xe could finally use the pet names.

“Uhm, just so we’re, you know, on the same page and everything, uhm, can I- can I call you my- my partner?” Jonny stammered, putting the goggles on top of his head and sliding his glasses back into place.

“I’d love to be your partner.” Tim smiled, “Can I call you my boyfriend, or would you prefer something else?”

Jonny bounced a bit from excitement in xyr lap and hugged xem tightly again as he said: “I’d love nothing more.”

“You’re adorable, love.” Tim told him, giving him a few more pecks.

Xe noticed Jonny staring at xem with a dopey look, so xe asked: “Something on my face?”

“Uh, oh, just- you called me dear and love.” Jonny whispered.

“Should I- should I not do that?” Tim asked uncertain.

“No! No, uhm, no you can do that.” Jonny tried to play his outburst cool, “You used them before, it was nice, but you’d always cringe afterwards, so I don’t want you to force anything.”

“Ahw, sweetheart, I was cringing because I was trying to hide my big fat crush on you, not really subtle if I call you love, now is it? But now I can do it to my hearts content.” xe said.

Tim could feel Jonnys smile under xyr own as xe leaned in for another kiss. Xe could sit here for hours with Jonny in xyr lap and their lips locked together.

And xe partly got that wish, they were still kissing fifteen minutes later when a knock came on the door and the light went from red to green. 

“Aurora said you made up, so me and Ashes have decided to set you free.” Nastyas voice came from the other side.

Leaning back from Tim Jonny called out: “We did, now fuck off.”

“Bold of you to assume we want to stick around for your grossness.” Ashes yelled, before two pairs of footsteps slowly disappeared out of hearing range.

Jonny got up and offered Tim a hand up as he said: “If you are agreeable, I would like to cuddle my beautiful partner today after I made xem some food and lie in bed and watch a movie.”

Tim took his hand and smiled: “I’d love nothing more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Oh what if I wrote something short about Jonny needing glasses and having headaches?  
> Me, *13K later looking at my story about two idiots getting together filled with angst, fluff and miscommunication*: fuck
> 
> That's it folks, hope y'all liked it :D

**Author's Note:**

> I read a few fics where Tim had neopronouns and I couldn't help but be like, this is neat and actually fits so well, lets try this, so hopefully I didn’t mess them up, but tell me if I did!


End file.
